As kids build their mental and physical capacities, they start adapting their behaviour We are constantly modeling to our kids how to act and behave and the way we talk to them fits right into this category. The way we speak to them and those around us is showing them how we want them to speak back to us.
There are generally 3 ways in which parents communicate with their children:
- Speaking with aggression to your child
Often parents yell a lot or they might unknowingly put their kids down or even use attacking words. When that happens, different children respond in different ways. They could play it up a lot more, they could become afraid or fearful. They might get defensive-aggressive and shout back. Or, they can block the parents by ignoring their constant orders.
- Passive Responses:
This type is the exact opposite of the aggressive-tone parent. These parents as so toned down that they mutter soft, cautious words and tones to their kids. What happens though, is that they find their kids running riot and walk all over them. Unfortunately, when the kids become totally out of control and when these parents are pushed to their limits , they suddenly turn their communication into an aggressive tone. Their patience hits the nadir and they explode, leaving their children wondering what happened.
An assertive way of communicating is firm, consistent, clear, positive, warm and confident. Communicating with kids in an assertive way is a real skill and communicating in this way shows your kids that mummy and papa know what they are talking about and to listen.
There are many high points of being a parent, but one single challenge that all parents face is how to talk so your kids listen. The WAY we talk to our kids has a huge impact on their learning and ability to listen to us. So, check your speaking style and get your child to listen to you.